>The Pick-Up Artist

>Saturday evening, I had the pleasure of joining two attractive women for dinner at a local Mexican restaurant. Now, before all of you go and start getting too excited, both of these women fall into the category of “friends” and it looks like that’s all it’s ever going to really be.

So, we were sitting outside on the patio, enjoying dinner, drinks and conversations when one of the two women decided she wanted a cigarette. She didn’t have any and looked over at the table next to us that was full of what looked like college guys. She stood up, went over and was able to obtain a cigarette from one of the guys as well as a light (like I said, she’s attractive and from what I observed, it didn’t take too much persuasion.)

She came back to our table and sat down, talking to us. I joked I appreciated her smoking since it helped the school systems now and we started to discuss how many cartons you can take across the border from outside of Tennessee before you get into trouble. (Actually, they’ll just find you and assess the tax on you…but that’s another story).

Suddenly, one of the guys from the other table had come over to ours, plopped down in the empty chair and started talking. He introduced himself to each of us. But let’s be honest here–he was no more interested in my name and who I was than in man in the moon. He was here for one thing–to hit on the girl who’d bummed a cigarette from him.

So, I sat back and sort of observed the dynamic of the conversation. The guy was a bit on the tipsy side, admitting he’d drunk an entire pitcher of strawberry daquari himself (question ladies: is that too girly a drink to make a good first impression? I ask this since both of my friends were both drinking beer. I heard somewhere that sometimes what you drink or order can tell a woman a lot about you…dear heavens, is it any wonder that dating is so freakin’ complicated?!?). He told us about his major and how much money he was sure to make in the near future.

Now, I found all of this amusing for a variety of reasons. One is that when I was in college, I thought asking about majors was a pretty decent ice-breaker myself. So, I’ve been in his shoes (though maybe not as confident as to just plop down at a table with a woman I hardly know and launch into my routine). But, I also knew that my friend was a couple of years older than he was and that she has a six-year old son. And you know, as I sat there and he kept bringing up how much money he was destined to make, I wanted my friend to drop either or both of these little details. Just to see the look on his face when it came out. Of course, that wouldn’t be fair to the friend, because you could tell she was enjoying the flirting and the give and take.

It kept going a while with him begging both of my female companions to join he and his buddies at this local club next. There was going to be a great band. Oh he couldn’t recall who they were mind you, but they were great. I also realize that if a giant hole had opened up in the earth and swallowed me, he’d not have noticed or care.

Eventually, one of his buddies started to talk to myself and my other dinner companion. We’d mentioned something about God’s House being in Knoxville (Neyland Stadium to be exact) and he jumped in. We discussed UT football for a minute and then he apologize for his buddy because he was “a little drunk.” We laughed it off and said he wasn’t hurting anyone and it was fine.

We were finally able to head out. Dude did follow us out to ask the ladies one more time if they’d make an appearance at the club.

And then we all went our separate ways. I have no idea if they showed at the club or not. I’d be interested to know how the guy reacted if they did…..or if he even recalled who they were.

But hey, I got some a great deal of amusement out of it..and a good story. So, win-win.


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